Kaze Uta Budo Kai Forum Archive

From Nate Meharg:

I would like to share an epiphany I had today when I was deep in thought driving home from aikido/judo practice. It was weird I was driving home thinking about my new job and the great lessons I got today at class and some of the grappling we were doing. I tapped a couple of times I made some other people tap but it was a very good and mutually beneficial environment and not once did I feel like I was about to go hulk like I normally do. Now thinking about this on the drive home I thought it was weird. Normally I find myself wanting to go hulk mode. For those of you who don't know what that means get out and watch some movies and read some comic books. Anyways, I had found that strange because normally I have to temper myself so I don't go all hulk so I can learn. Normally I have to take a couple of deep breaths usually once a class period and calm myself. The reason for this is because of who I am and how I grew up. A little history about myself. I'm a small dude: Always have been since I was born especially in elementary and middle school. So I was of course picked on made fun of and bullied being an American student that was young, weak and liked comic books, video games, cartoons, and D&D. Nothing bad bad but still it happened and it sucked for lack of a better term. In 2nd grade up through about 5th I was bullied a little but a group of kids my age. Not hitting striking or anything but slamming me on the ground using those fake wrestling moves they learned from wwf or whatever since it was big then. I didn't watch TV so I didn't watch it but I of course was the guinea pig for those kids. Now let me just say they know who they are if they read this I harbor no ill feelings. They were kids and most of them are swell respectable people now but nonetheless it happened. So I learned to be tough. Didn't get too strong or better at wrestling but I learned how to take it. Also I was bullied in another way, mentally and emotionally from many people calling me short scrawny and whatever else since I am kind of an odd ball. This by far is the worst part. I liked to say it didn't affect me but looking back on it: it did. So as I got bullied in all different kind of ways I took the next approach I get angry and go hulk. I would start bullying people in my way. Being a smart and holier than thou person I would make people feel measurable for being dumb or making mistakes. Which let’s face it we all do. Of course that didn't make me too much friends either. I ostracized myself from a bunch of people and was the annoying smart little dude who annoyed everybody. This happened most of my preteen to teen years before high school and during the first year of high school. During that time a couple of changes happened in my life. First and probably the best thing I made some good friends who I now consider family. And being socially engaged with other people on a regular basis who weren’t out to get me and made me realize the superiority and bullying complex I had. I learned through a slow painful process that I am just like everyone else and believe me that was an eye opener. It changed the way I thought about people and more importantly the way I thought people perceived me. The second change was I introduce to the great sport of wrestling. I only did it for about a year and I wasn’t the greatest of all time but I was good at it and gave me somewhere to direct my energy taught me some discipline and no one who use to pick on me anyways could really take me. Maybe they could but it was extremely tougher then and they didn’t want to take the chance of losing to small scrawny guy. As I went through the years through high school a lot of other things happened which I won’t delve into it but in a nutshell I met my future wife who probably has helped me along my emotional and mental development more than any person. She taught me that maybe sometimes I am too smart that I’m dumb. Also I had to drop wrestling because it conflicted with music. So instead I learned about weightlifting. Now nothing against weightlifters because it is a good thing but I thought I was becoming a bad ass because I was getting stronger, but the good thing about it is it introduce to new style of training and to a bunch of people who helped develop good weightlifting habits. It was the first class I took that the students were helping each other. Pumping them up trying to make them do that last rep so they would feel good about themselves later. Of course that was only once piece of the puzzle. Anyways next it was the end of my junior year I was just classified as a senior and instead of getting a music scholarship like I was planning on getting I joined the Navy. This was probably one of the best decisions of my life. Now I won’t go into too much detail about the navy but because of the Navy I got stationed in Japan. I was introduced to the martial art called judo. Now I learned some basics there and did some contests but the training was very hard. I was more like a black belt dummy than actual judo guy. I got my arm broke, messed up my back, and learned to go to my hulk place in my mind like I had been learning my whole life to deal with situations. Not all of it was bad in fact none the other judo players meant anything by it that was just how it was done there. I did meet one good judo person though who actually tried to teach. His English was bad but one of the best teachers I think I had at the time and friend. His name was ohashi. He was about the same size as me so after practice we would practice on different types of throws and grapple and it was fun environment. Anyways, next chapter in the story is I move back home to Oklahoma I’m looking for a place to do judo and I find a place online called windsong dojo. My first experience with Windsong dojo I walked in on the wrong day at noon. I thought it was a judo class and it happened to be an aikido class. Jim was the teacher and an old navy guy and told me while I was waiting for Nick throw on a gi and train with us. I thought why not. And I will be honest at first I thought I don’t know about this it seems kind of weak but still it piqued my interest enough that when Nick came by and asked if I wanted to do both for just 30 bucks more than the just doing one I said sold. Next I came to judo which threw me off. There was no blood, sweat, and constant hammering people to the ground there was actually teaching and going slow to make sure we understand the moves and material and so we could feel it happening and get it right. Now I know what you all thinking that I just went to some bad dojo before which could be true but wrong. Because in today’s world most not all but most dojos nowadays teach the same way the Japanese people taught me. Beat me up teach me one thing for six months and beat me up again until I learn a couple of moves then I can go on and beat on the next white belt. Especially with mma schools opening up everywhere now they are the worst. I love mma but most of schools have high injury/attrition rate because everyone wants to be a modern day gladiator and be tough so of course tons of injuries occurs. I digress; like I said it was weird the teaching environment was weird to me. In fact it was so weird that I kept coming. After a couple of months I realized instead of weak stuff it was probably the best out there. I know some of my friends disagree however we can discuss it in further detail over wine. I also learned more in 6 mos. then I learned my whole life. Not just about aikido and judo and fighting but about certain things in life. Aikido was made by Professor Tomiki to bring peace not to hurt anyone. And the motto is “maximum efficiency minimum energy”. Now my dumb ass sometimes tried to hulk it up in class and go fast but I be damned the hulkier I got the deeper in shit I got. So over the last year I’ve been focusing on being soft and not giving into my hulk side and it has been a lot better for me. And it got me thinking the same can be applied to life. Instead of bullying someone or trying to get back at someone for bullying you move with them. Handle it in a diplomatic manner or walk away and if that doesn’t work than defend yourself but don’t get mad or hold a grudge against the individual because there is no mutual benefit in that. Which by the way I think mutual benefit is a Judo concept. I’m just a student no one special but I felt I needed to share my history and insight into the principals of the art I study and how it applies to me and life. I’ve grown a lot. Thanks to the teachers My Dad with awesome wisdom, my Step mom with sound reasoning and logic, my mom for her love, and my Step dad for his discipline. Also my other family and friends who I consider family. You helped me be who I am today. My wife my best friend and love who stills puts up with me and isn’t afraid to tell me I’m wrong. My teachers, Nick, Kyle, Danny, Jim, Damon, Brian, and a person who won’t be named because he might have to kill me and everyone I didn’t include who has helped along this journey.



Peace

Nate

awesome!